physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
