I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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