It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
