They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
