erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
