To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
