I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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