good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
