Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize