god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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