dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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