is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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