She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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