I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
