found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
