i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
