Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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