If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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