Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
