why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
