Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
