I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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