I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
operation harelip BJ is a go
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My vagina is very pro this idea
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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