i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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