is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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