with your own penis?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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