called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
