Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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