Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Randomize
