Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
