I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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