I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
