He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
