oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
