i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
