youre lurking in front of me
Just cropdusted the office
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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