he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
