I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
