just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
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My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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