dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
