What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
