who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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