with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
