Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
