so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize