More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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