Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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