What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
