the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize