we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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