Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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