Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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