I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
