So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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