My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
