I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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