So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
