the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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