Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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