If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm passing your future prison.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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