Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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