there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
wow bdsm is so cute
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