I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
