Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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