Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
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When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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