u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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