Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize