So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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